Bewbies for all

Today is national “go topless day”. This is the one day a year that protests all around the country are held to spread the word about gender eqaility.  Because apparently voting isnt enough for my gender.  Now we want to be able to walk around half naked.

Look, its not sexy for the 90% of the male species to do it, so its probably not favorable for grandma to do it.

I understand, as a proud boob owner, bras are uncomfortable sometimes, but that is where there are thousands of brands, cuts and styles.  Wear a PE bra for crying out out.

According to the website,,  women should think about their topless rights in case they would like to garden free-balling, or perhaps are vain enough to not want tan lines. Because that is definitely something that a strong, free thinking, independent woman should be thinking about – tan lines. For those of us who aren’t fans of showing off our goods per se, we can buy shirts with illustrated nipples, or perhaps an iphone case when said shirt is in the washer. Everyone needs to know exactly how you feel about boobs at all times.

Their brand illustrates a young woman’s breasts and all of their photography features bresticles that belong to an 18 year old.  Do we want to see a 65 year old woman gardening in her front yard with boobs that she could fashion into a belt? Call me narrow minded, but I say, with a fair amount of accuracy, that nobody would like to see Aunt Linda’s lovely lady lumps, even Uncle Tom.

As I write this, in Washington DC, between the hours of 2-4 pm, it is legal to go topless in public.  I don’t need a demonstration to scare small children with parts of my body that have never seen direct sunlight – I can get to jail all by myself, thank you.

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