Xanax: an informative analysis

So I guess this is the time that I need to talk about the wedding or the honeymoon.  But I am not going to talk about any of those topics.  My topic this evening is Xanax.

If you are looking for any of these topics I have done a google search for you and have provided some interesting and light reading.  the links are below:




A brief history of Xanax: Xanax or Alprazolam if you’re cheap like me and get the generic is a small and delicious baby blue pill about the size of a pea but not round like a pea because that would be a choking hazard but it is uncoated so it can get lodged in the back of your throat causing you to projectile vomit in your mouth.  Xanax is in a class of drugs called benzodiazepine’s which is a fantastic mixture of Klonopin, ativan, and the like.  they have been rumored to be addictive which is awesome because they fucking rock. Xanax is best washed down with chilled white wine.  It pairs nicely with marijuana, red meat and rice with velveeta in it. Xanax, while often perscribed to relieve the following things that may cause excessive anxiety in ones life including but not limited to:

  • loss of your keys for any amount of time
  • dog poop on the floor
  • spilled milk when you’re really stoned
  • accidentally eating a black jelly bean
  • your dad getting mom accidentally pregnant proving that they still have sex
  • missing the last pig in the level in angry birds and having to start over
  • going to the dentist for a cleaning
Xanax affects take about 30 minutes to kick in.  In that 30 minutes you have to get all your productivity that you may of may not of had scheduled for that day because you will be watching PBS for the next two hours.
Xanax often feels like you have had 3 glasses of wine or if you’re like me and a raging alcoholic it feels like two bottles of cheap white wine.  It has often been described as feeling like a sweater on the inside.

I invite you to contact your favorite local phychatrist for a prescriton for one and then rush to your local walgreens or cvs to fill it. Often a fairly inexpensive drug which is great because most of the people on it are unemployed.

Good luck and I hope that this has been an informative post.

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