Let’s mess around with gender roles.

Apparently Real Simple didn’t survey this house because I sure as hell don’t have decorating on my list of “to do’s” everyday.

I just think it’s sad that the sample of women that they polled have good-for-nothing husband’s who won’t help with out around the house with cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping or with their children.

Grocery Store Altercation

You know when you’re in line at the grocery store? You’re waiting, moderately annoyed, thinking about all the other shit you would rather be doing like water skiing, working, shooting yourself in the foot. The stores try to make this less shitty by trying to get you to impulsively buy gum, soda, candy and magazines.

I usually cruise through a magazine in the checkout. It’s kind of a break for me.

Not today.

On my weekly shopping trip, I was only mildy incensed when I got to the checkout so I thought I would catch up on my reading while the woman in front of me had all 200 of her canned goods double-bagged individually in paper bags.

I was reading through real simple when I notice a bitch in a baby tee and a braided belt in my peripheral vision. She was trying to steal magazine time.

When you’re checking out you’re at the counter. Next in line gets magazine time. Third in line gets to duck other shoppers as they go by. It’s the rule.

This bitch was trying to cut in line. She was invading my personal space and forcing to read faster, clench my butt and breath a little more shallowly.

So I looked at her.

She looked at me.

I raised my eyebrows.

She stared at me.

I went back to reading and she went back to crowding me.

If the cashier had not of pulled my cart forward at that moment there would have been a physical altercation.

Do not fuck with my magazine time, #3.