Missed Connection: My Comfort Zone

***I posted this in Charleston on 4/21.  It’s the end of the semester.  That’s all I have to say about that. 
You and I got along great. You understood me, like a well worn hoodie. I hated leaving you, and I thought I wouldn’t have to. Having to give presentations in front of large classrooms is hard, my dear.Do you miss me?You told me that I live on “an island,” and that “nobody could touch me.” I understand, and I thought you understood too. Come back to me, Comfort Zone.

I don’t like trying new things, as you know, but ever since you left me when I went back to school, I have been a neurotic mess. Did you know that I have to take Xanax now? That’s you. That’s you all day long, Comfort Zone.

Remember the good days? Just you and me, hanging out, in our underwear, playing video games at 2:00 during a week day. That’s what I miss.

What really upsets me is that not only did you leave me, you took my Dignity with you. I haven’t matched my clothing since you left. I go to the grocery store in slippers now. And when I am there, the only thing I buy is cereal. I am trying to woo you back.

DO NOT tell me that I need to “broaden my horizons,” my horizons were just fine, thanks.

Come back to me, Comfort Zone. Bring your pal Dignity with you. Also, if you can find Adulthood, that would be great too.

I would like to say that this wasn’t my fault. No, no, it wasn’t yours or Dignity’s fault either. You want to blame my husband? Sure. He’s not here to defend himself. Why not?

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