***I was dating my husband at the time when I wrote this. He was in CHS and I was in HHI. Clearly I did not find a new suitor on Craigslist because we (Jared and I) got married. I did get called a bitch a lot for this, however.
Full Time Position (hilton head island)
I enjoy eating a great deal, some of my previous boyfriends were afraid to eat in public, so you will be required to pass an eating test.
The minimum requirements are as follows:
-Bug Killing (even roaches and spiders)
-Beer Drinking (but still drive my drunk ass home)
-Full Time Employment
-Your own friends
-A vehicle manufactured in this decade
-A regular Hygiene schedule
-Ability to pass a drug test for “hard” drugs (i.e. meth and heroin. Cocaine is negotiable if you have a decent dealer)
-Clean cheating record
-Ownership of a pet is a plus
-Strong stomach for Lifetime Movie Network
-You must possess furniture that you have purchased post post-secondary (No Futons)
-Ability to operate a dishwasher
-Creativity (in the bedroom and out) is important but not a total deal breaker
-No children or ex-wives
-Must own at least one tie
Please include a photo from the waist up, with a list of 3 references including past girlfriends
- Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
- do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers