I missed you last week. I look forward to you being deposited into my account on the first and fifteenth of every month. What happened?I know I called you small and insignificant, but you are significant. You mean something to me. The truth is, I could find another one of you somewhere else, bigger, more caring, but I can’t just leave you. But you left me.Sure, “next week,” but I need you now, paycheck.When I applied for this job, I thought it was a reputable company, as it turns out, I am in an abusive relationship with [redacted].
If you come back, I promise not to complain or make fun of your size ever again. Let’s go shopping like the old days. Me, my bank account, the electric company, and my landlord all miss you.
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers