I have this project due at the end of the semester. Part of the requirement is that we have 7 sources, and 2 have to be physical sources. We collectively groan and sigh and carry on like 9th graders learning that the cafeteria is serving sloppy joe’s again today.
Being that I am the opposite of a procrastinator, I start my research the day after the we get the assignment, and I find my 2 paper sources. Apparently these sources do not exist at the College of Charleston library and they need to be loaned from another library somewhere in space. Fine.
I get an email, “Dear Stephanie, your book is ready to pick up at Addlestone Library! Hooray! Love, The Book Fairy”
So the friday before fall break, I gleefully skip into the library to get my book so that I can successfully complete my project (early) over fall break.
There is a man at the counter, “Hello Library Man! Please! Assist me on my quest for academic knowledge and procure the book for which I have ordered and was told is currently on the premises!”
Then, Library Man sighs and says the following:
Library Man: “Name?”
scoccaro: “My! Name! Is! Stephanie! Ann! Coccaro! YAY!”
LB: “No, your last name…”
scoccaro: “Coccaro. c-o-c-c-a-r-o. Coccaro. Used in a sentence: my name is Stephanie Coccaro”
LB: “You have nothing here. Be gone with you now, you’re annoying.”
scoccaro: “But you see, Library Man in the cut off sweatshirt and ponytail, I got an email and it says my book is ready for checkout”
LB: “Look, this is not Macy’s ok? We don’t go pull books for students. We are not elves. You need to go back and find the call number and go upstairs and find it yourself. All of you think that we have some magic bank of books and that all we do is go find books for students. We don’t.”
scoccaro: “…I…um…ok..I’m really sorry…”
LB: “What was the name of the book?”
scoccaro: “I don’t remember, something about magic and faustus. f-a–”
LB: “we have nothing like that here.”
scoccaro: “ok? thanks?”
He was already walking away as I thanked him.
What a fucking prick.
But now I know. The library is not Macy’s.