It all started at 9:30 this morning.
I had a meeting in DC. Still being somewhat new to the area, I am not familiar with all of the neighborhoods in DC yet so I am not sure the most effective route to go when I have to go in most of the time. Typically @jaredwsmith goes with me but since we had the new cleaning lady coming today he stayed home.
Sidebar: this is our 3rd cleaning lady. the first on never did the inside of the microwave and she insisted on doing my laundry. The result was a shit ton of stuff ruined because it didnt belong in the washing machine. The second one didn’t show up…twice then presented a lame excuse as to why and expected to still have a job. So now we have Stacey. End sidebar.
So off i go to the vienna metro station which is at the scariest road i have ever been on. I arrive promptly at 10:00 am. Then the trouble starts. its a little known fact that if you arrive to Vienna after 8am, you will not be parking anywhere legal. I forgot this fact this morning. I was hoping that it was a myth. It is not. Whats worse is the only way to get out of the parking garage is $4.50 on your metro card. I have $3.50 on mine. So i circled the parking lot for 15 minutes looking for a spot and I couldnt leave because I wouldnt be able to get out. I was literally trapped in a concrete fortress.
So what does any desperate-to-be-on-time person do? Invents a parking spot! I found a cozy little place on the sidewalk that would accommodate my volkwagen beetle nicely and pulled right in. Concerned and looking for approval, I call my mother who tells me I am going to get towed. She never supports my semi-illegal things. Late and stressed, I leave my car and head into the metro station. I fill up my card with $20 and get on the train.
I have the metro system down pretty well. I dont like the long escalators but the rest of it is ok.
This is when the trouble starts.
Let me take a moment to discuss Google Maps. Nothing says “lost” like a kid walking in circles looking at their iPhone. This was me. I was begging to be mugged or converted to a religion i had never heard of.
I find a bus stop. Albeit, not MY bus stop but a bus stop where I promptly get on a bus and tell the bus driver I am looking for D6. She kicks me off the bus and tells me to cross the street. I realized later that she meant while there was no traffic. I hop across the street but ask for directions from strangers on two occasions. Once was a nice lady who told me to walk down the block and another a guy in a hard hat smoking a cigarette who actually didnt say anything just shook his head and went back to his phone. If that is how all construction workers communicate that would explain why things never get done.
I find bus stop number two. On the sign it says “D6”. and I wait. and wait. and wait. I met a friend in the interim. Martha. A nice african american woman in her late 50’s she was also waiting on D6. But like all good things in life, there is an expiration date. That expiration date was as soon as we got on the bus. she didnt want to sit next to me. Google transit said the ride is only supposed to be 24 minutes. apparently they werent ever on this particular bus because every single asshole on this bus wanted to get off not at a stop. I found them to be selfish and lazy.
I had a red sticky note on my puppy notebook telling me what stop to get off at. so as soon as we got on Macarthur street, i jumped for joy. Remember how I said the other bus patrons were lazy? I felt I needed to set and example and get off at the stop 1.4 miles early.
Thanks google maps for brightening my day yet again.
Hot, late, hungry and hoofing it up a hill with a 30 pound purse on my shoulder I call the person I am supposed to be meeting with. His secretary tells me no problem and she would let him know.
I get to the top of the hill and the road is no more. I have to go left or right. I go left. New rule: if you look at google maps and it looks like you go right, go left.
I pick a direction and go about a block, realize its incorrect and head back. Keep in mind I have already gone a mile. Luckily, not in heels.
Next thing I know, i am surrounded by houses and the german embassy. At this point I give up. I call @jaredwsmith to tell him im canceling my meeting and he says he will come get me.
At this point I call the office back. She tells me she will tell him but isnt that weird..I am not on his schedule for the day.
So I am tired, hot, sweaty, tired, hungry and almost out of money on my metro card and im not even on this guys schedule for the day.
I call @jaredwsmith back. He says he will take a cab to vienna to get my car so I dont get towed. The bright side: my car was still there, the down side: I had a $50 ticket on it.
So at this point we have spent the following to travel 21 miles for a meeting that never was:
- $50 ticket
- $22 cab fare
- $5 metro fare